Can't Erase It

We are searchers.  All of us, whether we want to admit it or not, spend our entire lives trying to figure out who we are.  Many times, just when we think we have it figured out, something changes and we are left wondering and wandering.

This song from Jars of Clay, has puzzled me for a few years.  It’s been on my regular rotation of favorites, originally because of the tune itself.  I love the mix of rocking out contrasted with beautiful harmonies.  Since the song is 15 years old, the only place I could find it online for your viewing/listening pleasure was an old concert video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaQjGxxH1Pc).  I’m sure you can find the album “If I Left The Zoo” at the library or maybe on Freegal at no charge.  But, if not either of those, I encourage you to spend the $1.29 on iTunes.  It’s a get-up-and-go song.

The reason this song perplexed me was trying to figure out what the Jars of Clay guys were saying that I couldn’t erase.

“You know it's so wrong, can't embrace it
Wish sometimes for any other you
But you can't erase it
And you won't escape it”

What could I know to be so wrong that I can’t escape?   The honest answer is a little hard to take.  I’m a sinner.  I continually fall short.  I first have to be honest with myself.  “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. (1 John 1:8)

The hard part about all of this is that it’s easier to be bad than good.  Going along with the world’s view of who we should be, the soft bigotry of low expectations is a much smoother path in the short run.  Even when we work to do the right things, be “good”, we often find ourselves slipping back.

“Follow the crowd and love everybody now
'Cause love is the best thing for you now
But you changed your mind
You let everybody down
But down is the best place for you
It's easier that way”

We realize we have these bad traits, these limitations against God’s glory.  We pray for it to be taken away.

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

Paul knew that sin was in him.  No matter what he did, he could not ever erase it from his being.  But, he chooses a different approach.  Embrace it.  Recognize the limitations we bring to the table and know that God is the only one who can truly offset our humanness.  We need him.

But, there is another message in this song. Who am I that I can’t erase?  This answer is also hard to take.  I am redeemed.  No matter what, God loves me and is with me.  Paul again:

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:37-29)

It is unavoidable, undeniable.

“How long will you face it
Till the weight comes crashing down on you
'Cause you can't erase it
And you won't escape it
No you can't erase it
And you won't escape it”

So, are you trying to erase who you are?  Are you searching for your sense of self, yet it is right is front of you all the time?  You are perfect in your imperfection.  Try as you might, with all your flaws, you can’t erase God’s love for you.  Embrace it.