Can't Erase It

We are searchers.  All of us, whether we want to admit it or not, spend our entire lives trying to figure out who we are.  Many times, just when we think we have it figured out, something changes and we are left wondering and wandering.

This song from Jars of Clay, has puzzled me for a few years.  It’s been on my regular rotation of favorites, originally because of the tune itself.  I love the mix of rocking out contrasted with beautiful harmonies.  Since the song is 15 years old, the only place I could find it online for your viewing/listening pleasure was an old concert video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaQjGxxH1Pc).  I’m sure you can find the album “If I Left The Zoo” at the library or maybe on Freegal at no charge.  But, if not either of those, I encourage you to spend the $1.29 on iTunes.  It’s a get-up-and-go song.

The reason this song perplexed me was trying to figure out what the Jars of Clay guys were saying that I couldn’t erase.

“You know it's so wrong, can't embrace it
Wish sometimes for any other you
But you can't erase it
And you won't escape it”

What could I know to be so wrong that I can’t escape?   The honest answer is a little hard to take.  I’m a sinner.  I continually fall short.  I first have to be honest with myself.  “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. (1 John 1:8)

The hard part about all of this is that it’s easier to be bad than good.  Going along with the world’s view of who we should be, the soft bigotry of low expectations is a much smoother path in the short run.  Even when we work to do the right things, be “good”, we often find ourselves slipping back.

“Follow the crowd and love everybody now
'Cause love is the best thing for you now
But you changed your mind
You let everybody down
But down is the best place for you
It's easier that way”

We realize we have these bad traits, these limitations against God’s glory.  We pray for it to be taken away.

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

Paul knew that sin was in him.  No matter what he did, he could not ever erase it from his being.  But, he chooses a different approach.  Embrace it.  Recognize the limitations we bring to the table and know that God is the only one who can truly offset our humanness.  We need him.

But, there is another message in this song. Who am I that I can’t erase?  This answer is also hard to take.  I am redeemed.  No matter what, God loves me and is with me.  Paul again:

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:37-29)

It is unavoidable, undeniable.

“How long will you face it
Till the weight comes crashing down on you
'Cause you can't erase it
And you won't escape it
No you can't erase it
And you won't escape it”

So, are you trying to erase who you are?  Are you searching for your sense of self, yet it is right is front of you all the time?  You are perfect in your imperfection.  Try as you might, with all your flaws, you can’t erase God’s love for you.  Embrace it.

Get Out The Map

Get Out The Map

Over the years, our family has gone from toddling around our house, constantly bound by the limited places you can hang out with very little ones, to going five different directions at once.

“Get out the map get out the map and lay your finger anywhere down
We'll leave the figuring to those we pass on our way out of town”

Just like many families, we constantly seem to be on the move.  Very often, as I lay in bed at the end of the day or open my eyes first thing in the morning, I take a little headcount.  Is everyone here, asleep in their beds?  Maybe Maddy is off singing with her school choir somewhere; Rachel might be Irish-dancing her toes off in another city; Eliza sleeping over at a friend’s house; Greta at a yoga conference.  It might even be me, with my work travel, waking up in a hotel in a far away city or country.  Regardless, when I realize we are all in the house together, sleeping peacefully, I smile.

“I’m gonna clear my head
I'm gonna drink that sun
I'm gonna love you good and strong
while our love is good and young”

The Indigo Girls…wow…I can’t say enough about how their music has woven itself through the tapestry of our life together as a family.  It is hard to count the number of times my wife Greta, our 3 girls and I have been headed down the road, music turned up, signing along with Emily and Amy at the top of our lungs.  All smiles. The one at the top of our family-sing-along hit list is certainly “Get Out The Map”. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfT6W6ZynRU&feature=kp )

“The saddest sight my eyes can see
is that big ball of orange sinking slyly down the trees
Sitting in a broken circle while you rest upon my knee
this perfect moment will soon be leaving me”

The images from this song…the roadtrip, the campfire, a call from the far away friend…paint a picture of the continual being apart and coming back together we experience in our lives.  The times we spend together as a family are treasured moments.

“Why do we hurtle ourselves
through every inch of time and space
I must say around some corner
I can sense a resting place
With every lesson learned a line upon your beautiful face
We'll amuse ourselves one day with these memories we'll trace”

One of Greta’s favorite inspirations today is Glennon Melton.  Her book “Carry on Warrior” and “Momastery” blog bring this wonderful mix of a mom’s reality, unabashed love of life and connection of disparate influences into a beautiful mélange of wisdom.  Recently, Glennon wrote about her experience attending an Indigo Girls show
(http://momastery.com/blog/2013/11/06/love-letter-amy-ray/).  As Greta read this to me a few weeks ago, I was reminded how the Indigo Girls’ music is a part of my family’s life.

As I wrote at the beginning of this year’s journey, I truly believe music is a gift from God.  When I think about how music, especially that of the Indigo Girls, has been a continual gift to our family, the joy and closeness it has brought, I know God has given us melodies, harmonies and lyrics as a way to be drawn together.  Psalm 95:1-2 says it better than I could ever:

“Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord;
let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
Let us come before him with thanksgiving
and extol him with music and song”

So, this morning, relish music and how it has played a part in your family’s love for one another.  Realize that music is the praise we offer when words fail to express what’s in our hearts and souls. Fall in love once again with God’s gift of music to us.

Turn Around

Have you ever been on a trip, a stroll on a wooded trail or a hike in the mountain wilderness and realized you were not where you thought you’d be?  In can happen unintentionally, a wandering off the trail.  Sometimes we stray on purpose, chasing after an elusive desire; “If I go just a little bit further, I can always make it back…”.  But at some point in these situations, we say to ourselves, “Holy smokes…where am I?  I’m lost.  No one is here with me and I’m not sure I know how to find my way home.”

“If you're scared that you don't matter
If you're lost and need to be found
If you're looking for a Savior
All you gotta do is turn around”

It’s usually not the big decisions that get us in the most trouble during our lives.  Lots of little decisions over time, moving us ever-closer to a line we said we’d never cross, are the real problem.  When we see that line far away, it is easy to say “I’d never do that.”  It’s such a giant step, so opposite of who we are, we can’t recognize a way that we could make that kind of choice.  But, when taken one small step at a time, an eventual crossing of the line is just one more very small step.

“Some turn to a bottle
Some turn to a drug
Some turn to another's arms
But it seems like it's never enough”

Matt Maher’s music finds a way to cut through the challenges of my daily life and speak a pretty direct message.  His current song is a great one called “All the People Said Amen” (love it!).  But the one for today is a pretty frequent “guest” on my playlists.  “Turn Around” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRiyDKmPnJg), besides being a great rock tune with a country twang, is a simple message of how to solve the problem of being lost.

When playing Candy Land as a kid, and then again as a young parent with our three girls, I always loved landing on the short cuts.  Hitting the colored square that took you up “Rainbow Trail” or “Mountain Pass” was always awesome.  And oh my goodness, pulling the card with the Neapolitan Ice Cream Float that advanced you to the top of the board was the best!

The good news is that when we have seemingly left God behind, far back down the decision trail, He does offer us a short cut back.  We don’t have to tread the whole trail on which we came.

“You don't have to
Take the broken road
You can turn around
And come back home”

I love the image of simply being able to shift my focus, change my direction without moving, and slowly rotate the other direction.  Once I turn away from what I’m chasing and set my sights back on Him, He is right there.  He does not call me from a distance saying, “I am way over here.  Once you come all the way back, then I’ll help you.”  No.  He never leaves us.

In the Great Commission, Christ calls us to be light in the world.  But, we don’t have to do it alone; “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20).  A coincidence we’re enjoying a song from “Matthew” today?  See my “Let It Be” post from 16Mar.

“No one listens to you anymore
And your heart has broken down, you don't need to move
Love has come to you, all you gotta do is turn around
All you gotta do is turn around, turn around”

So, do you think God is far from you?  Has your life, or even some small aspect of your life, strayed away?  No matter how far we wander from God…and I mean farther than you can imagine…He is still right there behind us, waiting with open arms for our turning back toward Him.  Wondering if someone’s got your back?

Turn around.

Broken Together

Why do relationships fail?  How can it be that people who come together in a deep love for each other or genuine friendship end up indifferent to each other, out of love, apart, enemies?

Are you in a relationship that you fear is coming to an end?

“What do you think about when you look at me
I know we're not the fairytale you dreamed wed be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery”

All of us have seen relationships between people close to us burn out in anger or wind down in sorrow.

“How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
I'm praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we wont give up the fight”

This song, “Broken Together” has been haunting me since I first heard it.  It is another selection from Casting Crowns new album “Thrive”.  Besides its simplicity and sublime chord progression, the constant single piano note that chimes almost through the entire song points to the persistence of the question I asked at the opening. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAAvPDgKf30

“Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together?”

There are forces constantly trying to pull us apart.  The demands of work, false images of “love” or “completeness” brought to us by the world, temptation, our own brokenness and search for the assurance that we have value…all of these things and more…contribute to the impression that we’d be better off with someone else.

“How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we've drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night”

At the end of the day, the Enemy does not want us in relationship with each other or with God.  Relationships bring encouragement, love, support and true joy.  As God is in each of us, when we are in relationship with one another, we are in relationship with Him.  This upends the Devil’s plan for hurt to be constantly in our lives.

In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, we can see the fundamental importance of relationship.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

When we come together at the Table, celebrating the Eucharist, we see Christ offering up an example:

“And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.’ ”

What is broken, is offered up, blessed and shared.  We have this inability to really, truly open up to others and expose our brokenness, especially to those closest to us.  But Christ shows us that when something is broken, and shared, we are fed; we embrace the brokenness and offer it up.

“Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way well last forever is broken together”

So, do you fear that you are part of a relationship…a friendship…a marriage…that is close to falling apart?  Is it coming to an end because of the completeness you seek in another that can only be found in God?  Are you standing, facing your loved one and trying to repair your brokenness, all the while hiding it?  Turn from each other and face your loving Father, presenting your brokenness.  Be broken together.

I Am New

How did you sleep last night?  Sleep is such a funny thing to me.  The entirety of the animal kingdom needs sleep in order to be recharged for moving on with life each day.  When we are at our wits end, tired beyond measure, confused by the chaos of the world, it is amazing what a good sleep will do to make us new each day.

As I’m falling asleep each night, my mind often goes to the topic of “how did I do today?”  There are nights when I re-live the events of my day, and I have peace.  There are others that I feel pretty poorly about certain aspects or actions since I opened my eyes that morning.  I think we all have those times.  But, no matter how much of my day was a struggle or fell short of God’s glory, sleep can often be the means to renew me.  Each day is a new start, a new opportunity to live the life God has called me into.

Jason Gray puts out some pretty amazing music.  He has more than one song that speaks to who we are as God’s loved and cherished creation.  The song “I Am New” is a (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w6YG2NZguc ) is one of my favorites.

“I am not who I was
I am being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy
And I'm dearly loved
I am new”

I could not help but think of my Dad when watching the video for this song.  One of his favorite things to do is take odds and ends, artifacts others have discarded as useless, or items that would appear to be of little value, and turn them into beautiful works of art.  His use of “friendly metal”, some old wood, a piece of an old tool or machine speaks clearly to how he views the world and what he has taught me and those around him; everything and everyone has value. Everything has a chance of renewal.

We see Jeremiah witness to this too.

“This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: ‘Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.’  So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me. He said, ‘Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?’ declares the Lord. ‘Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel.’ “ (Jeremiah 18:1-6)

God is continually renewing us.  We talk about this a lot in prison ministry with our incarcerated brothers.  The first thing they sometimes need to do is recognize that they don’t have to live the life that others may have relegated them too.  They need to recognize, as we all do, that we are of God’s hands.  He speaks a truth to us that we are worthy of His Love and the blessings He offers to us, which we only but need to open our tightly-clenched fists to receive.

“Too long I have lived
In the shadows of shame
Believing that there
Was no way I could change
But the one who is making everything new
Doesn't see me the way that I do
He doesn't see me the way that I do”

So, how did you sleep last night?  If not well, if not refreshed and renewed, it’s OK.   There is One who has already made you new.  The work of Jesus Christ’s redemption is already done.  All you may need is to accept the gift of His sacrifice and say to yourself, “I am new.”

Let Them See You

A friend of mine speaks about God’s ability to forgive us continually, in spite of our many flaws, failings and falls, in this way: when we sin, God does not see us, He sees His Son.   The sacrifice Jesus made for each of us is, was and will always be a payment in full for every wrong we can do.

Wait…you’re telling me that when I do things “right”, God sees me, and when I do things “wrong”, He sees someone else?  Why would anyone pass up on that kind of deal?!?

In essence, Jesus stands in front of me as a shield from the consequences of my sin.  When I do not fully live up to the life into which God calls me, a life of benevolence and blessing, Jesus is (was) there to take on the burden I have heaped upon myself.  Humbling.

If I am being honest with you, brothers and sisters, one of my biggest struggles is too often shining the light on myself, seeking acknowledgement, glory and praise as a skewed means of determining self-worth.  I am sure it some of it comes from being an oldest son and grandson, always working to be the “good” example.  But, that’s just an excuse.  Instead of answering the question of “who?” by pointing a finger back at myself, I should be pointing it upward to Heaven.

“Take away the melodies
Take away the songs I sing
Take away all the lights
And all the songs You let me write
Does the man I am today
Say the words You need to say”

After the last couple days of quick-tempo tunes here, this song performed by the JJ Weeks Band is a quiet and poignant prayer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgho0_JRetk ).  Colton Dixon, of American Idol fame, also performs this song.  I have mad respect for him and how, when faced with the task of entertaining millions on the show and all the pressure that world brings, he never shied away from who he was; a man of Christ.  We should all look to his example of standing firm in our confession of Christ in the face of the world’s demand that we keep quiet.

“With every breath I breathe
I sing a simple melody
But I pray they'll hear more than a song
In me, in me 

Let them see You
In me
Let them hear You
When I speak
Let them feel You
When I sing
Let them see You”

When we fall short, we disappear and Christ is there in our stead.  When grace, love, wisdom, kindness and mercy flow through us, we need to step aside and show that Christ is there in our stead.

So, my prayer is this; remove me.  In all things I say, all I do, all I write, look to Him.  When people are looking at me…at you…let them see Jesus.

Thankful

The 20th century theologian Karl Barth wrote, “Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.”

Think about that for a moment.  When you have joy, when you are experiencing an event or remembering a situation that brings you great joy, at your core, what do you feel?

“Thankful, thankful
I’ve gotta take the time to say, that I’m
Thankful, thankful
For every single breath that I take
I’ve gotta be thankful, thankful”

Before reading this quote from Karl Barth, I had never thought about joy in this way.  Yesterday, while I was watching our two youngest girls dancing their Irish shoes off at the Rathskellar here in Indy, with a giant smile on my face, I felt pure joy.  I felt thankful.  Thankful that I have a family who enjoys spending time together, embracing our Irish-ness.  Thankful that I have a job which allows me to break away for special events like this (and fund them!).  Thankful for the innumerable blessings God has brought into my life.  I was filled with joy.

Johnny Lang, a pretty hard core blues guy who started at a very young age, put out an album in 2006 called “Turn Around”.   His song “Thankful” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CaZIG2I_0k&feature=kp) is one of my favorites, but the whole the whole album is a song of praise.  I love the gospel feel of this one especially with the choir in the background.  I’m not sure where he was in his faith walk prior to this, but in listening to these songs, there is no doubt in my mind where he is now.  The root of the word “convert”, traditionally used to describe ones transition to a life of faith, comes from the Latin “convertere”; translated as “to turn around”.

“Someone sitting in a prison cell
Wasting away in their own personal hell
Everybody got their own story to tell
I’ve gotta be thankful, thankful 

Man, I used to think I didn’t have a lot
Now I realize just how much I’ve got
Now every day I’m gonna take the time and stop to be
Thankful, thankful”

There are dozens if not hundreds of references in the Bible to being thankful and giving thanks.  They are too numerable to mention.  But one of my favorites:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. “ (Philippians 4:6)

Oh, and yes, that is Michael McDonald of Doobie Brothers fame you hear singing along with Johnny on this one.  He and his “brothers” sang “Jesus is Just Alright”, and I fully agree.

“I’ve been riding on this roller coaster ride
Round and round I’ve seen the up and downside
And I’m here to tell you that the secret of life is being 

Thankful”

So, the next time you experience joy…not just feeling happy, but true joy…realize that in the feeling warming your heart, the tears welling up in your eyes, you are praising God, being thankful.